Monthly Archives: November 2007

Grin and bear it. Is there really any prophet in being this stupid?

Filed under pat, political, reality

 You’ve probably heard the one about the teacher and the bear? Class names a bear by voting on it  ( told you democracy was trouble) class picks Mohammed and the crowd goes wild.

   In the USA teacher’s go to jail for  sleeping with their students, executed for killing their students( come on someone had to)  and in Sudan  the public will tear you limb for limb for  naming an inanimate object if given a chance.  They are quite kosher ( irony intended) with teaching their kids the glories  of blowing up the infidels in pursuit of  a better life.. (er which country is that again?  oh nearly all  of them damn)  Yep it’s amazing how in this day in  age people with invisible friends just seem to see more clearly than the rest of us and can see the societal threat from an inanimate object   never mind that couldn’t happen here ( again)

From a post on the subject

Laugh as much as you want as the lunacy of the Islamists just remember
that fundamentalist Christians in America are barely any more sane. You
can still get arrested in the theopublican states of Texas and Georgia
for selling a dildo. Apparently the only legitimate use for dildos in
the Bible Belt is holding public office.

Sudan protesters: Execute teacher –

The agency reports that some chanted: “No tolerance: Execution,” and “Kill her, kill her by firing squad.”

An article that’s so blatantly stupid one has to wonder what they were expecting. Making an illegal act “more illegal”

Filed under rants, reality, state gone wild

It’s one thing creating a victim less crime and then reducing it’s occurrence  solely on the basis that people really weren’t that into it. What is strange is the idea breaking and entering , removing materials, you know theft are somehow going to stop because it’s more illegal.

Like the harassment of sick people to get cold meds has stopped meth labs.

like hell.    The cops have more fun going after the people that are hurting no one other than , arguably , themselves.

Thieves continue to steal copper despite new Arizona law

Thieves continue to steal copper despite new Arizona law

It’s time for the morning after pill to be made more fun. Cereal killing takes on a new meaning. (

Filed under pat, rants, reality

Was wondering if a breakfast infused with hormones from the morning after pill would be a nice seller?  

Some  good marketing could come from this.
Unpreggo my eggo?     

For sheer synergy though Cheerios seems to have the edge.

Oh I never talk about abortion.So why the hell not put out a couple of lines.  If you really believe that this is child killing and you’re doing nothing about it,you’re probably worse than the disease you are trying to cure

Sorry bumper stickers don’t count here,their only use in contraception is as an impromtu  chastity belt / brazillan wax but I digress. The point.

If you truly believe that this ,per your advertisments, is the legalized murder of innocents and you’re not spending all your waking hours to preventing it you may wish to consider just what you really believe because seemingly spending time on picketing products that don’t fawn over your saviour’s ego takes a back seat to the real time murder of innocents. And your the “good guys?”  

childhood screams. The good kind. Finally a use for a leaf blower that makes sense.

Filed under Culture-internet, Dobhran, Family

Dobhran, aka “pork chop” , “dosbin”, “Dobie” and on special occasions little lord farfanoogan  will be having a nicely manufactured Christmas this year.  Many licenced, plastic and on the whole  worth their weight in lead toys are awaiting his rapt and often violent attention.  Next year though? Erin’s been out in the woodshop between hobbling ( it’s like PT for her bunghole, er leg ) between a new play cube and my delightful ( so far)  bike  which has gotten us talking about making more of Dobhran’s toys.   I found this jet on my  web travels and have to say I’m impressed by it, though not the price of the plans. I think I want to build the wee one some form of gentle motion simulator but he’s really into bikes and cars. How the hell we make him a mini “hang on” that he won’t fall off is another matter..  maybe I’ll stick to cars for the time being.

Build the AQUAPLANE kids backyard fun ride!

Safeways tries online shopping. FAILS!

Filed under Bad CS

Well done Safeway.  Weeks, ne months of sending mails to my house asking me to use a service that is supposed to supplant the need to go out to a store.  

Safeway – Ingredients for life There are no products matching “vinegar”
May we suggest a few tips to help you search for products?

May I suggest a few tips for providing a working store?   While I’m full of piss and, oh wait I don’t have any vinegar I’ll quit while I’m behind.


No Country for Old Men and a new bike.

Filed under Culture-internet, motorcycle

Other than a full endorsement to go see this movie I seriously suggest you don’t read any  reviews until doing so but  if  you must you may as well start here.  It’s  the palate cleanser one needed after Grendel’s outing and the people leaving “No Country…”  well let’s just say the ending is exactly the type I enjoy , ergo most hate for reasons I’m not going to get into this week. No Country for Old Men (review)

Here’s the thing about Joel and Ethan Coen: they can make anything, absolutely anything, intensely profound and deeply weird — and weirdly deep — and cruelly magnificent all at the same time.

Additionally I have swapped rides from cruiser to sports tourer.   I’ve gone retro with a 96 Kwak GPZ1100 which I have to say is  at 3.5 on my scale of five for motorcycle speed

really fast
eep inducingly fast
brown trousers time fast
Insanely fast  ( a la sausage creature)

On the way  home I had two cop cars tailing me.  I think I passed that truck just a tad too fast,   after they saw that I spotted, slowed and  drove saintly for a couple of miles they went on their merry way.  

 So good bike, good movie and a pretty good meal. 🙂

Circuit City fails again. Why do I never learn? Phoenix Metrocenter Store refuses to release pick up items till 1400 only tells you this after you get there.

Filed under Bad CS

I should know better that the the view from the hill which we are sold is far better experienced vicariously. That’s the point of the phrase, a more prosaic way of saying “the grass is always greener” I fell for this last night when perusing the offers at (Sir Sean mode on, Shircuit Shitty) and bought four items two of which are to be delivered with the remainder picked up. Or so I thought. They had decided that for today these orders would not be released till after 1400 , so you know, thanks for waiting in line, paying in advance etc but go take a hike. ( they don’t honor their 24min pick up the day after T giving which yes is in the small print but oddly missing from my receipt) The manager was , er less than helpful with a suggestion that cancellation or waiting are the only two options. The idea was broached that helping me would set a precedent for having to assist the other customers was quite sad , pathetic in fact. YES of course you should help the other fucking customers. Taking her logic not helping me = not helping anyone which I’m sad to say is what passes for most US retail companies. ( Ok here’s the only thing I am upset about. Notification. All they had to to was include this fact on the site, on the receipt or even on a sign at the door of the store. I didn’t buy from them for four years after they stiffed me last time maybe I can get to five this time prior to caving? UPDATE: Hey, do you know? They did notify me on the mail when I could pick it up. At the same time I was in the store! How to pick up your purchase:

  • Avoid the crowds: Circuit City stores are closed on Thanksgiving Day. On November 23, the day after Thanksgiving, we ask that you pick up your online purchase after 12:01 p.m. due to the high volume of traffic in our stores. Don’t worry, we have set aside the item(s) you ordered. Your order will be waiting for you at the customer service counter when you’re ready to pick it up.

Ah if only they read their own mails.


Update # 2

This time , 6 hours after my original request and 4 hours than the earliest time that I should have returned we found out that…. The order was not ready for pickup.  Ok Let’s wait.

Turns out that I will not be getting the item after all since they have none in stock. Dammit acquisition was all I had left to look forward to:) If this crap continues I’ll have to work on self improvement for satisfaction.

ah I give thanks that there will be Indian food tomorrow , or soon thereafter.

Filed under Culture-internet, ex pat, state gone wild

Ah another Thanksgiving were once again the question from the natives here of how other countries celebrate it arose.The bemusement that follows the idea that the whole world doesn’t revolve around the American myth of thanksgiving is kinda touching for a bunch of people that have better degrees than mine.

You know what,  we don’t celebrate President’s day either. Shocking eh?  ( No, I am not a Canadian)
The radio news , tv news and print news are full of state agencies using your money to tell you how to cook, how to drive, how to pack and how to put up with all kinds of intrusive behavior so you can  have “fun” 

Beowulf king of the Britains .. er well it’s kind of like that except the performance is as convincing as coconut horse hooves.

Filed under Culture-internet, media, reviews

Written in less time than it took  Marillion’s  Grendel to play.. about 17 minutes.

Two movies with heavy CGI that I’ve been “forced” to watch at the behest of ,what’s occasionally referred to as my better half  contained Lara Crotch, I mean Angelina Jolie and both left me annoyed.  I could have watched  “no country for old men” but no ,  3d or not 3d that was the offer.  Wrong Joel E (than)  sadly. Apart from that monstrous pun  let’s ready to diss this Dane.

Grendel… supper’s ready. *

Technically I liked it, best dragon yet,  though there’s a tendency towards too many “oo loook pointy” moments.Drawing attention to the 3D detracts from the movie,if you have to remind me it’s in 3d then somethings gone wrong in the story department. Oh and if we’re really going to innovate  drop the suspense shots that telegraph what’s going to happen. geez, just add a fucking double take for the character’s as Grendel bursts into Heorot.

In short the first half can be summed up as Happpy, drinky ,maudlin , screamy , Shouty, schemy, lusty, sleepy , fighty,  repeat.  Intersperse with a rapper’s vocab on how cool you are,  and that you are indeed Beowulf.  Usual look into man’s failings, who is  really a monster are present , but it’s like watching a video game cut scene that you’d be  pressing triangle furiously on to skip the dialog and get to the kick ass dragon ending.

Keeping on the  theme  Beauty and the beast here’s a couple of reviews that  may help.

From the  Flick Filosopher

:: :: Reviews (xhtml)

*I had four cars named Grendel. My road home was along country lanes and the numbers of rabbits mowed down by my earth rim walker ( mostly accidentally )  led to the name.

That round up thing ( Parent’s vacation) A trip into Fear and Loathing at the checkout.

Filed under Arizona, Bad CS, Dobhran, Erin, Family

 Over the last couple of weeks my parents have been in town.  Since I have a massive amount of vacation time , and Erin’s recovering from her bike 2.0 mashup, I took all of it off +1 day to get Erin to an appointment tomorrow morning.   On the whole we had a sedate  type of vacation with much of the usual touristy stuff  bypassed in favour of the practical nature of finding another vehicle, making sure  kids trip to ER was the only one  ( he’s taken a real shine to climbing and falling) and working our way through casual diner attitudes.  I’ve  barely touched computers,  read only a few deserving blogs and kept my email to  under 5 pieces  and don’t feel the worse for it.

Purely anecdotal but since the last visit it seems like wait staff, retail clerks and most service industries we interacted with are staffed by  humorless, cookie cutter clones that seem to have totally bought into their commerce cog role.Anything that’s not in the line of being an expert at detecting false currency  or fake id’s is usually not going to interest them.  Why am I being asked if I could  find everything?

Will someone go get me one? put it on back order and call me when it gets here?  ( I’m old enough to remember that being a possibility @36)  no I didn’t think so. I’d rather we dropped the pretense offer of a service that will never be rendered.

While we’re talking about crappy CS let’s  go a car shopping.

Special shout outs to the car dealers that failed to secure our business.

Bell Road Scion

Aziz you truly suck as a salesman for anybody that gives a rats ass about what their wife thinks.Your insulting manner, refusal to acknowledge what we wanted to buy over what you wanted to sell and general ineptitude with the truth has done your franchise proud.

Bell Road Ford

Josh,  It doesn’t matter that your bosses want you to call up and keep reminding us about their great offers. If you don’t have the car we want , an Escape Hybrid, we’re not going to buy it. Tell those assholes that you’re losing ANY future chance that  we’ll ever buy from their dealership. 

Bill Luke Dodge

Ah Heather  really so SO  very close. We’d agreed on a price after the usual bullshit of having our direct requests ignored in favour of their usual  dog and pony show where they try to sell you  $800 car alarms that costs me $140 online (OEM)it’s plug and play and really easy to install. How hard is it? Patriot, any color, minimal trim and an Auto Tranny? 

I said I would  arrange financing privately and get back with you. Get a call from her before  9am asking were I was at.   Thankfully this convinced me that I didn’t want to deal with ANY  new car dealer and redoubled our efforts to get a second hand one. There’s a second hand Isuzu Rodeo outside.   I own it, no payment , fuck them all.


Bought a fresh turkey, the bag broke on the treadmill covering some produce. Not only did I have to clean it up  but I had to buy the unusable produce.  Supervisor refused to engage Erin on this and wandered off.  Their fucking packaging broke , took out yet to be paid for items which she made us pay for. We’ll see what their reply is on this one.

Hilarity .. they actually think we have a choice, marvellous.

Filed under media, Media mayhem, political, You have nothing to fear

I’ve read enough blogs to know that my posts are  ill formed, scatter brained and  on the whole successful. My only criteria for success is  did it amuse me at that time. So it’s with great glee that I point to a “perfessional” pundit making a case that the Skipper of the container ship that hit the Bay Bridge could  drive through.  So 10% is too low,  mm how about 25%?  you know to bring it in line for the 200 million adults, about 1/2 of which voted and then  half of those voted for the  current President.

Commentary: A few states shouldn’t decide presidency –

Americans want fairness, and there is nothing fair about less than 10 percent of the states in America choosing the next president for the rest of us.

Safety like vacation. Trying not to get lost, trapped or otherwise inconvenienced

Filed under Erin, Family

Finally bought a GPS , Finally bought a seatbelt cutting knife that doesn’t say “weapon” as much as my m16fd does, least that’s what paranoid idiots hear…

We changed the brakes on the Aerio and on the bike. Oh and saw a cop throw a guy to the ground and draw on him for  , what looked like rather non threatening  behavior but hey  you can’t believe your own lying eyes so I’m sure it was entirely reasonable.   Oddly  3 of the party saw this,  my  mother from the UK  totally oblivious   interesting:)

Product: 911 First Response Knife

Widely considered a highly effective emergency tool, this knife features a 1/8″” thick high-carbon stainless steel serrated blade with screwdriver tip, easy-grip handle, solid tungsten carbide striker-punch and spring loaded trigger for high impact. Blade easily cuts thick seat belts. Includes a nylon carrying case with belt loop and clip. Length: 8″” open, 4.5″” closed. One of our most popular items! Designed by Blackie Collins. Made in USA.

Public health by wishful thinking . You may as well pray if you think that viruses give a flying fuck about what you believe is safe.

Filed under Demon Haunted World, rants, reality

This is an interesting problem. It’s not interesting to me so much for the race issue, of which I can’t possibly comment, but the creed?  Hey  let’s take another swipe at it.   If you have 14% of   the population coming up with 50%  of the cases YET that group claim to follow a code prohibiting this kind of behavior you have to wonder if  religion is the biggest STD of them all, after all you can pass it on to your kids.  

Here’s the fun part.

Epistemological. There are alternate “ways of knowing” less familiar to Western-educated thinkers that must be embraced for full perception of the “human condition in its most troubled state”—of which STD disparities are just one symptom. Appro-priate responses to the problem depend upon this deep under-standing of the experiential reality of the people involved.

MM seemingly believing things contrary to reality  gets you in the ass. 

Taken from CDC Consultation to Address STD Disparities in African American Communities

There’s something scary about gov sanctioned tattoos. Yet another industry wants you to restrict their competition.

Filed under rants, state gone wild, You have nothing to fear

It’s always nice to see concerned companies pursue regulation as an anti competitive measure when it’s dressed up as a consumer safety issue. It’s even funnier when you see the state being requested to be their “enforcer” Given their excellent track record in food safety, toy safety and  hell, they even let “le car” on the  fricking road.

Valley tattoo shops ask for state regulation

Sean Dowdell, who owns shops in Glendale, Tempe and Mesa, said that by his count there are 102 tattoo shops in the Valley, “and nobody is protecting the public from dirty needles, unclean conditions and real health dangers.”

Yes like they protect us from restaurants  If you’ve watched Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares and noticed these places have all passed health and safety with their local agencies.Isn’t that scarier than a putrefying pepper? 

How about seat belts for school buses?  You know the same people that  will ticket  you  for a personal choice to not wear a safety belt conveniently exempt themselves from the need to do so in all but 5 states. (   it’s not a huge issues and, they are in relation to other means of getting to school really safe , safer than a cell phone yacking bint at least) but hey it’s for the children! 😉 and no expense spared for the 1-2 lives a year it could save.  E.g it’s not cost effective.  

USDA meat…?    Just Google that
Compliance costs money and time. What’s more useful to you.  A business operating in a safe manner or one that spends  time documenting the safe manner they work in 🙂 Less time to do work = higher prices  for the same degree of safety.  Then again  maybe people using old needles and unsanitary practices just needed to be told ..worked well for food.

Another “ethical” fish sign business breaks the law to serve it’s material goals. Morals? Religion? HAHAHa

Filed under Arizona, Bad CS, Family

Yet another plastic bag with crap thrown on my driveway by a company that thinks that breaking the law is good practice. The receptionist said it works, it’s their only form of advertising.

It’s gratifying that they offer clean up services for yards but a little ironic that the method chosen to advertise that fact by tossing plastic bags of gravel attached to paper onto my yard is the way they are going about it. At which point did they decide they had a right to place garbage on my property in a bid to further their material wealth?

Even if question wasn’t asked try this. Why have they ignored the no solicitation signs ? Why have they a fish on the bottom of their leaflet suggesting that somehow their ethical foundation is a selling point? Seemingly when I called them the most they can do is to remove me from their tossing shit on my yard list. Lovely.

Sec. 3-5. Prohibiting distribution of handbills at private premises where properly posted.(a) No person shall throw, deposit or distribute any commercial or noncommercial handbill upon any private premises if requested by anyone thereon not to do so, or if there is placed on said premises in a conspicuous position near the entrance thereof, a sign bearing the words “No Trespassing,” “No Advertisement,” “No Unsolicited Newspapers,” or any similar notice, indicating the manner in which the occupants of said premises do not desire to be molested or have their right of privacy disturbed, or to have any such handbills left upon such premises.(b) Subject to the conditions set forth above, the deposit or distribution of any commercial or noncommercial handbill on private premises shall be done in such a reasonable manner as to prevent their being carried or deposited by the elements upon any adjoining premises, street or sidewalk or other public place, or upon other private property.(c) The provisions of this section shall not apply to the distribution of mail by the United States.(Ord. No. G-717, § 1)


Seemingly I wasn’t the only person having issues.